Thursday, December 20, 2007

About the novel

Okay, so as I may have mentioned in my last post, I've written a novel. I'm actually quite proud of it. It's called "Acoustic Kitty." I'd love to be able to tell you that it's being published by Random House, but if I did, I'd be lying to you like a dog, 'cause it's so totally not being published by Random House.

For that matter, it's not really being published by anybody. I'm in the process of self-publishing it. Self-publishing, in case you aren't familiar with the term, is what you do when nobody else has much interest in publishing your novel. I sent queries on "Kitty" to around 50 or 60 literary agents, and barely got a nibble. It's hard to tell whether they thought my synopsis was terrible, or simply that the novel, which is just as odd as my Fringe columns, didn't fit into any of the established literary genres. Breaking into fiction writing is just as daunting as I expected it to be. If an agent is going to take a chance on a new author, he (or she) wants to feel like he's repping a sure-fire success. He isn't interested in gambling.

So, since I couldn't get an agent to nibble, I'm trying Option B: self-publishing. Essentially, I paid a service (, if you're curious) to make the book available for purchase. It's up to me to market the thing. But that's okay, because I have a bit of a secret weapon in this fight: you. If you like the Fringe, you'll like "Acoustic Kitty." I'm sure of it.

Hopefully, if enough people buy and enjoy "Kitty," I can get a real publisher - are you listening, Random House? - interested in publishing it "for real," which would mean two good things for those who buy this first edition of the novel. First, it would mean that the edition you bought would instantly become unavailable, and therefore nearly as valuable as, say, a Hardee's Monster Thickburger. Second, it would mean that my next novel, which is already underway, would also see the light of day, and be much easier to find and buy.

So, if you're a fan of the Fringe and want to see more stuff from your favorite completely unknown writer, get your grubby hands on a copy of "Acoustic Kitty" once it's ready. I really think you'll like it.

Okay. Enough of that for now. Fear not, this blog won't just be about me shilling novels. I'll also make with the funny here and there, I promise.

More details on where you can buy the book are on the way soon. Catch you later. I'm gonna watch the rest of the Rams game. They're actually giving the Steelers a game tonight. Crazy.

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