Sunday, April 13, 2008

I'm sorry - did you say "butt douche?"

The e-mail of the week last week was, well, it was one of a kind. If you recall, last week I wrote about this detox diet Colette and I did. (The column, by the way, has done surprisingly well, staying in the top three most e-mailed stories on STLtoday.com into the weekend.) Anyway, so one of the responses was from a woman named Cindy, who is serious when it comes to detoxing.

Your article on detoxing was VERY funny, highly appreciated by me since I detox people for a living. Yes, my business is colonics or colon hydrotherapy...what a friend of mine describes as a butt douche. So, I am offering you and your wife complimentary colonics - even a series so that you can really feel the difference! You WILL feel better, more energized, and...cleaner! Colonics are a much easier way to cleanse than the diet you tried! I, for one, don't do cleansing diets - they are too hard. So, if you are interested, and no, it doesn'thurt...it's more than an enema, far less than a colonoscopy.

You want to know how hard up I am for column topics sometimes? I actually considered this offer for a day or two. Really. I was almost willing to let this person douche my butt just so I'd have something to write about.

Alas, I realized that there was really no way I could write about that experience and have it published on STLtoday.com. They give me a decent amount of latitude, but not that much. At least, I hope they don't, because I really don't want that excuse taken away from me.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dear Mr. RibBobsick,

There are two types of people in this world - and you are not one of them. Your writings amuse, sure. But do they not say or feel? I was once like you... dejected, toxified by the spiritual excess of the false prophet: Andy Rooney. But now I have found the glory of the game that we will all play one day. And that game... well, it's for the Fools to find and the chosen to keep. (The game, of course, is electric football.) When you come up for air from your foreign love affair with all things that go ca-chung, do stop by. We will be waiting with watchful eyes and inviting the sly foxfire night to tussle with calming serenity that comes from cheese.

Anonymous said...

Bob,

I cherish certain things in life.. one being your comedic weekly commentary. For the love of god, don't put anything up your bum!

If you and your wife are wise, please watch this episode of Bullshit. It's the best 27:17 you'll spend (at least on this topic)
http://www.surfthechannel.com/info/television/Penn_%26_Teller%3A_Bullshit%21/65989/S5E4.html

Anonymous said...

Last post didn't give full link. Go to surfthechannel.com and find TV--bullshit--colonic

The not anonymous Gregg said...

Who are these anonymous people, and what are they hiding?

Turner Publishing said...

Sorry to leave this as a comment - I didn't see an email address.

I’m going around to all the St. Louis area bloggers/freelancers to let them know about our new book by two local authors, the Historic Photos of St. Louis by Jean Gosebrink and Adele Heagney. We’d love to send you a complimentary copy for possible review consideration on your blog of this book. This title is done in a large 10x10 format and all images used are culled from several archives that represent rare or never before seen photos of St. Louis. We’re trying to get the word out to local folks, so I hope you don’t mind me dropping you a line to let you know about our books!

You can find the authors locally at a signing at Barnes & Noble on Ladue Rd from 1-3pm .

Hope to hear from you soon.

Best,
Rachel Joiner
Marketing Manager
www.turnerpublishing.com