Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Haaaaate Mail!

Okay, I know, it has been WAY too long since I've blogged. In order to make it up to you, I have something exciting for you: hate mail.

If you're a fan of my writing at all, you know that I love hate mail. I like the regular fan mail, too, so don't you all go writing me nasty-grams just because. But true, bile-encrusted, nasty hate mail is sometimes way more fun.

I actually got this one a week ago, in response to my surprisingly popular column about my cat Charlie acting like a vampire. It's from some guy named John:

What a poor excuse you are. I am not surprised that you have a job at that horrid thing called a newspaper. It just shows how journalism has sunk over the years. You remind of a p**** who thinks he is cool but just needs a good a**-kicking. Your articles are not cute or funny. It is as if the rag just hired a 15 year old kid who likes to tell fart jokes or actually or more appropriately a 15 year old girl who fawns over boy bands. I know that I am wasting my time even writing a silly a** like you but I am amazed that you are not teaching AV at a poor school district and thinking you have what it takes to be an assistant at the school year book. Do not think that you have some talent. Sure you get paid but so do a******s like those freaks on Jacka**. People are laughing…at you and you are too stupid to know it. Now onto your next juvenile project. Maybe how you just discovered how to j*** off. Loser.


(I put the asterisks in there, by the way. Yeah, this is a blog, but I like to keep it clean here, since anyone can read it.)

Pretty cool, huh? This John guy really hates me. Must drive him crazy that I've been doing this column for seven years now...

8 comments:

LayLadyLay said...

I am so jealous. I never got hate mail when I wrote my column. Well, I never got any mail when I wrote my column. You are so lucky!

Bob said...

What column did you write?

LayLadyLay said...

I wrote stlscene for Sauce for two years then Frugal Foodie for St. Louis Magazine for a few months. Neither were nearly as fun as Fringe

Anonymous said...

I didn't realize you wrote a column...

Bob said...

Well, yeah. If I didn't, nobody would hate me.

Anonymous said...

I was trying to be "tongue-in-cheek" funny with the comment about you writing a column. It probably didn't come across in the comment though...

StlGuy said...

Fuggin boots! Your book is damn funny. Thanks for your humor. Hate mail is funny, too. Keep posting... for the smart people to laugh at the rednecks of the world.

Carol Carter said...

i think you should dismiss that miserable hate mail as trash. your work is wonderful-- and i hope you never quit sharing with the world your humor and jest.
carol carter